JL helped move my stuff. I had her bag ALL of my closets and shelves. I had over 48 full size bags. The hallway outside of my new room looks WILD. Me. I would of stacked by size. JL just dumped. My principal was fluttering and upset. I just barely could move.
My classroom was on DoDEA website. I mean I have had beautiful functioning rooms. What happened?
Well, the past is done. In three weeks of a clean break after this Friday I will go into my new classroom and methodically organize it. Refine. Refine. Refine.
I wish I had taken pictures of my classrooms. I wish I had a professional portfolio. Something of substance to reclaim what I lost this year. Order and loveliness.
The only other time I was so disorganized was in mania.
One of the four teachers I personally asked to help me improve on management and classroom environment gave me Teach Like a Champion. And, then I'm going ahead and re-reading my foundational texts. Thank god, teacher texts are so easy to read. I do better with notes- not in margin, but actual notes. First, I'll read all these books. I'll list them as I read. Then, I'll specifically re-read what moved me the most and make index card notes which then will be transferred to like a working document.
I will never succum to poor work ethic again. Forget the kids. Its me who suffers the most. Somehow, my students either excelled by 1.6 month gains in 9 months, or were held back and managed only 7 month gains in 9 months specifically in math. Therefore, my average gain is about 12 month gain in 9 months is reading and math. God, how? How can I have my worst year and still not tragically harm my students?
Standard measures are: DRA2, SRI, Reading Counts and the frustrating StarMath. Its time for me to see if I can move my class I have next year two years in one year. I did this with my class of SY 09-10, Second grade in my first year. I think I may be able to leapfrog this past school year, and actually quantify my ability as a teacher for second grade. Either second graders are the MOST capable of making two years learning in one year, or its me. I really need a third year to determine if I am actually making a difference. I know more about data and extraction and what formative assessments lead to good/fantastic summative assessments.
Despite being totally hollow after this year. I think statistically I may actually be able to be a MASTER TEACHER. I think my embulent behavior and need to rattle research is annoying to others, but thank god, I love what I do. I've always been an odd duck, but overall I'm rather kind and jovial and love teaching kids to THINK and embrace each chance they get to develop their capacity for learning. Even feeling hopeless like when I think of the mess of culled teacher materials waiting to be moved into my new classroom I am not despondent. Even miserable I am rather happy.
However, after this Friday when I do my additional training for Everyday Mathematics I will not touch, or do one thing related to my education as a teacher. I will cook. I will clean. I will connect with my incredible 16 year old daughter. We'll travel and I will read all of the other books I have waiting in the wings.
I'm not like TRoosevelt and able to read three books a day, but its taken me almost three years to again have the chops to read and to retain what I read like I have always. For my whole adult life I have read 200 to 250 books a year- of varied topics, and 6 to 8 magazines a month. I guess for me my addictive and obsessive behavior is apparent in my stomach (sweets) and in my reading (books and magazines cover every flat surface).
Also, I'm going back into the gym and bball court with JL. Exercise has always given me relief like reading. I wish I had lots of friends. I'd be laughing with them, but alas I don't. I just have to take this break from work. I so look forward to Saturday. My first day I will allow teacher thoughts to go "orange".
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